turn, turn, turn
by Becks Rylynn
Summary: There are exactly fifteen things no one will ever know about Dean and Ruby. Slight AU, Season four spoilers.


_AN: Okay, so I don't really have much to say about this, I don't know where it came from and it is both my first and last attempt to write for brunette!Ruby. I much prefer blonde!Ruby. You know, the real Ruby and not that damn imposter. To all of you who are reading Playing Matchmaker don't worry; it's on my summer workload list...along with eleven other stories. Things have just been really crazy here and my priorities shifted for awhile, but have no fear; I'm back and I'm ready for a summer of writing...seeing as all other plans of mine have been cancelled. About this story, I do change Ruby's death a little but it's for story purposes. It's pretty much AU anyways._

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of the characters.

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**Turn, Turn, Turn**

_Written by Becks Rylynn_

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**1)** Dean is pretty much one hundred percent sure he was in love with her. He knows by now love is never enough, but it still hurts when he finds out just what Sam and Ruby are doing together.

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**2)** When she's with Sam, she's very careful not to say his name because she's sure it wouldn't be the name _Sam_ she whispered. She thinks he might notice, but by this point he's too far gone to care very much if it's him she wants...or his brother.

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**3)** It wasn't supposed to happen; this thing he feels, it wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't supposed to be her. But whenever he tries to dull the feelings inside with alcohol or other women he hears her voice and she's whispering his name and it wasn't supposed to happen but he can't let it go.

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**4)** There are sparks between her and Sam, she won't deny that. But between her and Dean...there are wildfires.

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**5) **Truth is he knows from the second he sees her in her new shell that something is wrong. But he ignores it to keep her with him.

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**6)** It didn't start out like this. Before...when she was blonde...it really wasn't her plan. She really was on their side then and that's the truth. Hell didn't change her the first time around. But the second time; when they tortured her with images of him, blood pouring, his voice screaming for Sam...she changed.

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**7)** They both know that after he got off the rack, she was one of the first people Alistair wanted him to break. They also know he didn't use one single weapon to make her cry.

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**8)** He liked her better before, liked her when she was hard edged and jaded. He's not sure how he feels about this new her. The one who is soft and manipulative. She liked him better before, liked him when he was snarky and trigger happy. She's not sure how she feels about this new him. The one who is damaged and broken. They'll never say these things out loud, but they both have a feeling the other one knows.

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**9)** Castiel knows all. Neither one of them are surprised when, the first time they're alone together, the angel in the trench coat shows up and looks at them both with a sigh and a shake of his head. They smile.

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**10)** He _does_ have scars. They're just not the kind you can see. Most of the recent ones are caused by her and if he had the chance to make them all _go away_ he wouldn't take it, because he knows soon the scars are all he'll have left of her.

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**11)** She smells death in the air. She knows it's hers. It's coming fast and furious and soon the end will be here. She loves him more than the world, but it's time to let go.

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**12)** He dreams of her. Blonde, brunette, whatever way she comes she's his and he knows what she's doing is horrible and evil and he knows sooner or later he's going to have to kill her...but he can't stop loving her.

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**13)** She knows it will be him who slams the knife into her. She can feel it in her borrowed bones. But that's okay. She wants it to be him.

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**14)** He's glad she's not facing him when he drives the knife into her back because he's sure if she had been facing him, if he had seen the light die out in her eyes, he wouldn't have been able to make it through. While Sam is heartbroken and angry and feeling betrayed, Dean offers to burn the body. It's only as the flames eat her away, it's only as her ghosts (blonde and brunette, blue eyed and brown eyed) whisper in his ear that it's okay, it's all right, she's okay now, he saved her...that he finally allows himself to break.

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**15)** They'll never tell Sam...what they were...what they could have been...what became of them in the end...they'll never tell. He doesn't need to know.

**end**


End file.
